My life has changed in so many ways. The number one best thing that happened here was meeting and marrying Adam. Everything wonderful about my life in Buffalo has to do with him. I have a partner for life and I never have to change jobs, apartments or cities alone again. We are a united front on all decisions that will change our lives, from the little things to the big things. This is comforting and empowering.
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Before moving to Buffalo I lived in Chicago for 10 years. I wouldn't change anything about that glorious decade of my life. There was so much passion and life and music and friendship. I had friends and more friends and their friends. We were young and old and single and married and musicians and artists and roller girls and kickball teams and students and sobering and addicts. It was all inspiring, all so outward and supportive. I was a part of it and that was important.
I moved to Buffalo for a job. A good job that I'm still rocking. Buffalo is a different city than Chicago. And I'm a different person here. I have a different role and different goals. I'm older and calmer and I like myself more.
I loved my life in Chicago, but I wasn't always so confident in how I felt about me. But with so much going on I didn't have to stop and find out why or how to like me more. Some days I was the smartest, cutest and most charming person I knew. Other days I was dull, slow and the most uncomfortable person ever. I think this flux in self perception is part of being in your 20s. It adds passion and drive and curiousness to the everyday. Maybe this is where the old cliche of "finding yourself" stems from... how can you be sure you are doing what is right for you without experiencing a bunch of stuff that's not right for you?
I don't love my life in Buffalo like I loved my life in Chicago, but I like ME a lot more. I trust my decisions and my skills and my path more than I ever did before. I just do different things now; I camp and hike instead of going to parties and bars. I play viola in an orchestra and with a quartet instead of playing violin with my indie band in Chicago. I study and practice viola more now than I did in music school. This is a good thing.
I've always said that a city doesn't make you happy. But for me, living in a different city means living different life. There is no way that I could have remade my Chicago lifestyle here in Buffalo. I struggled with this for a long time and still ache for those friendships.
I am still really excited that I decided to move to Buffalo five years ago. I'm thankful for my life I have today. I'm thankful for the life I had in Chicago, too. And I can't wait to find out where the next 5 or 10 years will take Adam and me.