|"Hipster Mozart" via the web|
I joined the Philharmonia orchestra in September, after a summertime audition. I hadn't auditioned for anything since my Music School audition in 1997. But I have played a handful of recitals, weddings and other "gigs". I struggle with nerves and the "inner game". I do much better when I play in the group, be it orchestra or quartet.
At least the Philharmonia audition went pretty well; I was prepared and it was just me and the conductor, who was so friendly and excited to hear me play. I walked out of that audition thinking that I was on my way to recovering from my crippling performance anxiety.
Nope. I played a recital in December at the Community Music School of Buffalo, where I take lessons. They offer "Adults Only" recitals a few times a year. I choose to play without kids because it's always entertaining and inspiring. People from all walks of life take lessons and play music as hobbies. This particular group ranges from high school aged to octogenarians. Everyone is a character. Most of the students in this recital sing. I am usually one of 2 string players with a couple other piano students. It's very laid back, no programs, no dressing up and only informal introductions. I played last so I had the whole 45 minutes to sit back and listen. I didn't know that I was going to get so nervous, as I thought I was past it after my successful Philharmonia audition. I walked up to the front of the room and started shaking. I introduced myself, pushed out a few words about the piece I was playing - everything was happening so fast and I was losing the composure in my head. I started off heavy and fat-fingered. I almost started over, but instead mumbled "come on!" to my hand and viola while trying to play a part I never mess up.
After the recital my teacher's husband says, "You know how long it took me to play without getting nervous? 50 years". Is that comforting? I don't want to wait another 20 years for this to subside. Yuck!
Anyway, "dorkestra" starts tonight! That's what Adam calls it. One of the pieces we will be playing is Mozart's "Paris" Symphony:
Mozart - Symphony No. 31 "Paris" in D - KV297
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